Thank you for the nice letter. It was nice of you that you hoped I have a good Christmas and I do intend to have a good Christmas. Mrs. Claus and I will enjoy a turkey dinner with all the trimmings and lots of baked goods. Then, for the rest of the year for me, it will be diet, diet, diet.
One point I did want to bring up is that I have been keeping my eyes on you and I have seen you swat your sister, Cutie, sometimes for no reason. I want to know why you do that. I have also seen you cry sometimes. Remember, I am watching, even when you are sleeping. You must be a good boy at all times.
Now, before I deliver your Christmas gifts, I am very, very curious as to why you asked me for a ton of receipt paper, shoelaces and some cardboard boxes for you and Cutie. I, for the life of me, can’t figure out what you would want those for.