I have had so much fun this past few weeks, playing with my new computer that I got for Christmas. I must have been really good last year or maybe Santa is just getting senile. I surfed the net, did some online banking and then decided to check out my email.
“Oh look,” I said to myself. “My first email message. I wonder who could have sent me it. Well, there is only one way to find out!”
Quickly, I moved the mouse across the screen and clicked on the icon.
“Hello there planet Earth!” I read excitedly. “How’s life treating you?”
“Weird,” I thought aloud.
I quickly started typing in a response.
“Hello to you out there, wherever you are,” I typed quickly. “Life here on Earth is great! Where are you from?”
Big, bright, bold letters appeared on my screen.
I stared at them long and hard.
“No way!” I wrote back. “Impossible. Prove it!”
“Okay!” the reply stated. “I’ll send you a video email.”
“Yes, do that,” I quickly typed.
“Here is it,” came the reply within seconds.
Soon, I was staring at an ugly green-eyed creature with bright orange hair.
“Oh my!” I exclaimed. “What an ugly creature!”
“What do you think now?” asked the alien.
“Okay, I guess I believe you,” I typed, not really meaning any of it.
“What luck!” I said to myself. “The very first email I get just had to be from an alien. It could only happen to me!”
“I need you to do me a big favour,” typed the alien. “We’ve had computers here on Mars forever but would love to have some laptops.”
“What!” I typed quickly. “This is outrageous! How am I supposed to that?”
“You just go get them for me and I’ll arrange to have them picked up,” said the alien.
“Yeah sure,” I typed. “There is no way I could afford to pay for them to be shipped all the way to Mars! By the way, I have no money, so how do you expect me to pay for them?”
“I’ve already transferred money into your teeny bank account,” said the alien. “By the way, you’ll find a hefty bonus in there for you.”
“Yeah sure,” I typed. “Computer stores won’t take Martian money.”
“I’m one step ahead of you,” said the alien. “The funds are in Canadian currency.”
I decided to check the balance of my bank account. Sure enough, there was a hefty sum of money deposited into it with the words, “Bank of Mars,” in the description.
“Go now,” said the alien. “You’ll hear from us soon.”
I got into my car, went to my favourite computer store and bought five dozen laptops. While I was there, I noticed a nifty little handheld computer, fresh off the market and a video camera, so I bought them for myself.
I went home and installed the video camera on my computer. Next I took the handheld computer out of the box and started setting it up. About an hour later, I heard a knock on the door. A little green-eyed creature with orange hair, dressed in a delivery uniform stood on my doorstep.
“You aliens don’t waste anytime,” I said, handing several boxes to him.
“Thank you,” said the alien.
“You’re welcome,” I said, as I watched a spacecraft hover above my house.
In about an hour, I received an email from the alien, along with a video email of several other aliens with their laptops. They all looked very happy.
I sent them a video email of myself with my handheld computer.
A few seconds later, I received another email from Mars. Guess what the next thing was that I had to go buy for them.